SIBLING RIVALRY

 

 

 

Introduction

Sibling rivalry can be devastating! Trouble between siblings can take many different forms as RIVALRY, STRIVE, or ABUSE. Brothers and sisters can be best friends, bitter enemies or both, depending on the circumstances, the time of the day or their moods. Siblings can be surprisingly loving toward each other, and they can be shockingly cruel. This however does not means they don't love each other.  The essence of this article is to enable teenagers and parents to understand rivalry between siblings and be able to deal with it accordingly.

 
^{Form of Siblings Troubles}

^{Sibling rivalry.}

Sibling Rivalry is as an emotional or physical assault that makes the victims to feel bad about themselves. It is a natural and common phenomenon within the family. At times, it is unavoidable between brothers and sisters of the same family; steps sisters and brothers and also between teenagers. It is a spirit of jealousy or competition between siblings or (step-siblings) in a family. Statements as 'I will report you to Mum' are common among siblings as a result of rivalry. A Teenager once told me about a non cordial relationship between her and her elder brother who at times would buy her things and some other times, could be so cruel to the extent of beating her.

^STRIVE
Sibling strive is very destructive. It makes teenagers to contend in opposition with each others.  Tony and Kinsley are two brothers from the same family. Tony is younger, but a bit large while the elder brother, Kinsley was slimmer and smart. However, rivalry between them would made Kinsley tease about the weight of his younger brother, calling him a 'plum fat'  and driving him to tears in front of others and generally ridiculing him for being a "Cry baby" !

ABUSE
Relationship between siblings can sometimes degenerate into abusive behaviour and patterns. Siblings are more likely to become abusive if they themselves feel victimized. Abuse can range from name-calling and inciting fear in a younger sibling, to threatening, destroying a Sibling's personal possessions, or physically scratching, hitting, or kicking a sibling.

Siblings Abuse is common among teenagers in schools and homes. Some example of abusive words are, 'Big Head', 'Look at her head like coconut-head',

'Big stomach', 

'Fish brain',

'See the way he's working like jelly fish...',

'Pepeye',, 'Your head is like pure a water bag........', etc 

 

^{The Causes of Sibling  Rivalry.}

Sibling Rivalry is simply the natural result of multiple children in a family, vying for attention and affection.  When parents gives more attention to a child more than the other, they are seriously creating problems for their wards. Sibling Rivalry can be as a result of the following:

Parents' preferential treatment on sibling.

 Unhealthy or unfavourable comparisons. The root of all feelings of inferiority is comparison.  It is therefore highly inflammatory to compare and commend one child at the expense of another. Parents, especially mum should please exercise caution on matters of academic performance and intelligence by not comparing their teens with others teenagers.

 

Jealousy of a sibling's talents, friends, appearance, grades, and family privileges.

Though Sibling rivalry can be a devastating factor in a family relationship, it can also be a positive factor...(To be continued).