TEENAGERS AND DATING

TEENAGERS AND DATING.

Introduction: The Problem of Premature Dating.

Teenagers invest massive amount of time, thought, and energy into dating pressure and possibilities. For example, they talk about Who is dating Who? While many young people devote much time and effort to "The Dating Game", only few are prepared for the new stresses and choices that dating presents. Teenagers face intense pressure from others around them to "go out" with someone.

Discuss A:  Why Do Many Teenagers Date.

 Many teenagers date because of the following reasons:

·        Dating is badge of acceptance.

·        It is an evidence of a teenagers worth of attractiveness.

·        Some teenagers date because close friends start dating.

·        Some teenagers are looking for Love, security or support in a date.

·        It is a way to assert their independence by going where they choose and                with whom they choose.

·        Many teenagers just date because they feel it is expected of them to                       date.

Points above are some of the reasons teenagers get involved in dating and a great numbers of teens set themselves up for danger and disappointment because they are playing 'The Dating Game', blindly, ignorant of the many decisions to be made in dating. For a teen to start dating, key decision need to be taken into consideration.  Below are some of these decision:

 

Discuss A:    Decision in dating

(When  to start dating)

Some parents think their children should be certain age before dating. Similarly, some teenagers think they were born ready to date, while others feel they crossed the "date line", when they became teenagers. Though a chronological age is a reliable indicator of a teenagers readiness to date,  the crucial factor is whether he or she is spiritually and emotionally mature to handle the many DECISIONS and DANGERS of dating. While some teenagers may be mature enough at fifteen or sixteen, others may not be mature at such age and probably need to wait longer.

Key Indicators of a Teens readiness for dating.

·        Is he or she often influenced by peer pressure.?

·        Is he or she most attracted to people of his or her own age? 

·        Has the teen committed himself or herself to sexual purity and           determined not to compromise that commitment.?

·        Does the teenager have his or her parent's permission to date ?.

If  the teen child  have a 'No Answer' to the above questions, then the young

teens should be more spiritually and emotionally matured before dating.

 

The Dangers of Dating

 The danger in dating is that the teenager will do something that will seriously damage chances of future happiness and a successful marriage.  It is easy for teens to think, “I have my whole life ahead of me. The choices I make now will not have any effect in future.” However, dating patterns and things a teenagers does will greatly affect the quality of his or her future life. Some of the dangers in dating are :

 

    Dating can lead to broken hearts.

A large part of dating is flirting. Flirting is acting like you love someone. The object of flirting is to create a romantic attachment with the other person with no serious intention. The idea of a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex is very appealing to teens. Most teenagers realize that the relationship is temporary and with no commitment involved. Both guy and girl realize that either one is free to break up the romance at any time for any reason. This may sound harmless, but as two people become romantically involved, they begin to bond emotionally. Even though there are no commitments, two single people begin to increasingly think of themselves as a couple. They are seen together and viewed as a couple by their friends. They are bonding and becoming emotionally glued together. 

In breaking up, these two hearts which have become glued together are ripped apart. They are emotionally wounded and end up with scars that can last a lifetime. One or both experience a loss of self-esteem and the sense of being rejected. Having a broken heart is no fun; in fact, it can be devastating. Some teenagers try to deal with it by toughening their emotions. They say, “It’s no big deal. I’ll find somebody else." However, a teenagers who is trying to rebound from a failed romance is very vulnerable. The sense of being rejected by someone they loved is devastating. Often they are frantically trying to find someone who shows an interest in them. They often jump quickly into another romantic relationship, which turns out to be worse than the first one.

                   Dating often leads to physical intimacy.

Dating often leads to getting involved sexually. By this, a teenager gives away part of his/herself and can never get it back. Dating can bring a lot of "Emotional Baggage". Physical intimacies become “emotional baggage” that can wreck a teenagers.

                   Dating can create an artificial relationship.

Teenagers try very hard to impress each other by putting on their best, making it difficult to evaluate the other teens true character.

 

          QUESTION :   The Age Factor.
                                             

       ' Does Age make a difference in dating'? Can a fourteen years and a nineteen years old

teenager date.

 Answer:

My answer is no, based on the reason that teen years are a time of major physical, emotional and spiritual changes and some changes may happen so fast that a teens is ill-prepared to handle them.

Conclusion

My teenagers, please be wise. choose the right part in life. Do not allow anyone to deceive you.  Don't rush into dating. Don't join other teenagers that are playing the dating game. There is time for everything. Time to be born and time to go to school. Do something meaningful with your life now that you are young. There is time to actually get involved in dating and time to get married for the rest of your life. WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME!!

 

Zoa  Oladejo.

for:  TEENs  &  MUM.